Psychotherapy

Many therapists are cognitively based, trying to get people to change how they behave. Although people may experience some success with this for a period of time, it is notoriously short lived because if people are not feeling right they have a hard time keeping up the discipline to follow a set of behaviors that are incongruent with their emotions. Emotionally focused therapy helps people learn how to indentify their feelings, label them accurately and then manage them successfully.

“One of the biggest challenges by far that I see in my clients is an inability to zero in on exactly what they are feeling and what they need to feel better”. Unfortunately, we are not taught how to understand or manage our feelings in school. And even more unfortunately, many have also slipped through the cracks at home growing up. Not because parents weren’t well intentioned but because they probably didn’t have the skills themselves to teach.” This creates a generational cycle of problems that range from low self esteem, depression, anxiety, sibling rivalry, marital discord, and violence. The vulnerable emotions are the ones people have the hardest time with so they generally default to defensiveness and anger. These are distancing emotions that are very tough on relationships.